This
has been a tremendous year in television (hence 13 instead of 10).
11/29/2019- Switched Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad slots.
Honorable
Mentions:
Arrested
Development- Due to the inconsistencies in the cast’s schedules, only a couple
of scenes had everyone together. The rest of the season was comprised of
individual stories that weaved in and out of each other like a weird puzzle and
became more and more clear the more and more you watched. It wasn’t quite as
funny as the show during its heyday but it was fascinating to watch and will
hopefully improve after multiple viewings with the full story in mind. It was a
fun experiment but I’m hoping another season and/or movie is on the way with
the family back as one unit.
Rectify-
This is a Sundance original series about a man, Daniel Holden, who is released
from a 19-year stint in prison for the rape and murder of a girl, based on new
DNA evidence that supposedly clears him. He must learn to reintegrate into his
family, and a community that knows him only as a villain. Did he really do it
or was he innocent? It’s left ambiguous, allowing us to judge Holden neither as
a criminal nor a victim, but as a person trying to restart his life. Not much
“happens”, per se, but it’s a beautiful show that does not shy away from just
having Daniel lie in the grass and contemplate things for a couple minutes. I
also think it’s very important in this internet/cable TV world where we are
quick to label people something without having all the facts in front of us.
Trailers for the newbies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqoHQScPZ0c
Hannibal-
Wait, this is on NBC? This is one of the most graphic and disturbing shows on
TV, but even with that in mind it is also one of the most “quiet”. The music
doesn’t swell into a crescendo when a 20-body totem pole is discovered off the
side of the road, instead giving off a dreamlike vibe that doesn’t try to nudge
you with an elbow and say, “See this? See this sick shit we’re doing? Eh?” Mads
Mikkelsen makes an excellent Hannibal Lecter and Hugh Dancy gave maybe the best
performance of last season as the brilliant but mentally unstable Will Graham. The
show is almost too slow for its own good and yet that’s what helps it stand out
among all the others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HW9rtFYsEw
The
Walking Dead- It was a pretty uneven year. I don’t mind the Governor as a
character but his feud with Rick’s group got a bit stale, and the virus
storyline ended up being more confusing than scary. But the two standout
episodes were the ones that broke the traditional mold: the one with Morgan
back in March, and the first Governor-centric episode in November. Both went to
new places to see how other people have been surviving the apocalypse. More
intimate and creepy, and proving you don’t need a zombie horde or a tank to
make the show compelling.
Dishonorable
Mention: Dexter (Rank Last Year: 2):
This
kills me, but I’m nothing if not honest. I was a big fan of season 7, between
Sirko and the Russians, the Dexter/Deb chemistry, and the LaGuerta mission. It
lost steam at the end with Hannah but overall I thought it set up a good final
arc for the show. But it was not to be. Season 8 was a mess, but it was worse
than that even. It was boring. It brought back Hannah, who is in my opinion one
of the most boring and bland characters the show has ever had. It gave a
half-assed villain in the Brain Surgeon who ended up being more confusing than
terrifying - and they hid his identity for so long that by the time it was
revealed as Oliver Saxon (or Daniel Vogel or what-the-hell-ever) we had no
investment in him and he was the most forgettable antagonist Dexter has faced.
Seriously, what would your reaction be if I told you that the climax of the
series did not involve Trinity or Sirko or Ice Truck Killer but OLIVER
SAXON????
We
spent a bunch of time on a “will they”/”won’t they” with Deb and Elway, who was
also a forgettable character, despite oddly being the most competent by the
final episode. Kenneth Johnson from “The Shield” is wasted as a marshal who
accomplished nothing. Evelyn Vogel, in fairness, was a semi-interesting
character who started as the architect of what we know as The Code but
eventually just became a punching bag for Saxon’s mommy issues. Compound this
with Miami Metro’s complete blindness to Dexter’s true nature, and the mother
of all weird endings (I’m a lumberjack and that’s not okay), and Dexter
certainly ended on a whimper rather than a bang.
Perhaps
the biggest nail in its coffin was that it aired directly opposite Breaking
Bad’s final episodes (same night, same time), and Breaking Bad expertly showed
how you take an anti-hero who has spent multiple seasons evading the law and
knock his house of cards down and raise the stakes to their limit. In turn, it
exposed the gap in Dexter’s writing. Would we have gotten a better conclusion if
they had been allowed a longer hiatus and returned in late September like
usual? Possibly, but now we’ll never know. As it stands, Dexter still had, in
my opinion, four great seasons (plus one that was pretty good, and two that
were average) but now its overall impact is brought down by this…thing.
P.S.-
Harrison on the treadmill may be the worst thing ever.
Number
13- Masters of Sex (NEW SHOW)
Dr. Bill Masters: The study
of sex is the beginning of all life. Yet we sit like prudish cavemen in the
dark riddled with shame and guilt.
Yes, this is a show with
boobs. Yes, the quality of vibrating dildos is actually a story point. But
there is more than that, I promise you. Based on the real-life exploits of Bill
Masters and Virginia Johnson, this new series on Showtime chronicles the beginning
of their research into human sexuality and intimacy, trying to figure out what
makes us “go”, and challenging the conventional wisdom and conservativeness of
the 1950s. Over the course of the first twelve episodes, topics discussed
include: infertility, infidelity, closeted homosexuality, religious conversion,
sexual conversion, underage sex, self-stimulation, virginity, pregnancy,
miscarriage, and what happens when your research subjects start to have
emotional feelings with the stranger that they’re copulating with. A young test
subject has serious concerns about her privacy when she allows a specialized
camera to record the inside of her vaginal canal during orgasm. Unlike other
shows, it is taken (mostly) seriously with the desired result being emotional
human connections rather than cheap, junior high Sex-Ed giggles. It’s a very
promising start for what will hopefully be a good replacement for the retro Mad
Men.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqwahKjI2bg
Number
12- House of Cards (NEW SHOW)
Congressman
Frank Underwood: I have often found that bleeding hearts have an ironic fear of
their own blood. One drop and they seize up, but offer them a caring hand and
massage them back to life and they soon start beating to the right drum.
Netflix’s
first true test of original programming follows Congressman Underwood and his
ambitious drive to the top of the food chain in Washington; and although
“Orange is the New Black” ended up being the end-of-the-year critical darling,
this one is by no means a clunker. The show is about politics yet still remains
apolitical – it does not try to persuade the viewer of one party or another,
because Underwood doesn’t really care if he’s Red or Blue, or his opponent is
Left or Right, he just wants to win. I found myself rooting for Underwood as he
fought his opponent who was being a dick, until Underwood did some full-on
Machiavellian shit that made me do a 180, but I didn’t mind that I
flip-flopped. I don’t know if I want this character to win in the end, and that’s
fascinating to me. Rounded out by a strong supporting cast, including Corey
Stoll as the Great New Hope for the party, House of Cards may get a little
heavy-handed at times but it’s rarely boring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULwUzF1q5w4
Number
11- Raising Hope
Burt
Chance: Let’s face it, I’m not as young as I used to be.
Rank
Last Year: Honorable Mention
Raising
Hope got pretty meta in a series of episodes early this year. It’s since been
inserted into the Friday slot where it’s been doing even poorer than on Tuesday
so this may be the last season we get of it. This is the most underrated comedy
on TV and I wish more people would discover it.
Number
10- Girls
Marnie Michaels: She keeps
saying she has news, but I bet she just wrote a blog post or found a new hot
dog or something.
Rank
Last Year: 6
Girls
was not quite as funny as it was last year but it was undoubtedly more
complicated for everybody. There was even the one episode that may or may not
have been a dream sequence (in my opinion) where Hannah has a fling with
Patrick Wilson. It’s still funny and hits me in the “20-something” quadrant of
my brain but I do wish it got a little bit more optimistic this coming year.
Number
9- The Good Wife (NEW TO MY LIST)
Alicia Florrick: We're coming
after you. All your clients. Every single one we worked to make happy while you
swept in at the last minute to take credit. We're taking them. And then you
know what you'll have? A very nice suite of offices.
The
Good Wife has several strengths. First and foremost, it takes what could be a
boring Law and Order-esque courtroom case and throws twists and turns at it
from before the first commercial break all the way to the end, trying to expose
loopholes in laws, and far-fetched “What if?” scenarios. Second, it has a 21st-century-style
understanding of technology and changing social behavior, making it feel
relevant and not a relic of 1992. Third, it has a great sense of humor; their
last episode of 2013 literally ends on a masterful spit-take from Alan Cumming.
And finally, it balances the case-of-the-week formula with a great serialized
story that recently culminated 4 seasons worth of material with Alicia and Cary
breaking away from Lockhart-Gardner to form their own rival firm, allowing
friends to become rivals and personal histories to get dirty and tangled with
cases. It’s probably the best the show has ever been. For a good example of
what it can do, watch the season 4 finale, set during the governor’s election,
in which a bundle of potentially-illegal ballots are discovered and the two
sides argue whether they should be counted or thrown out…until a new piece of
evidence emerges which prompts both sides to start arguing the opposite of what
they initially wanted. As new evidence keeps coming out, their arguments
continue to switch.
Number
8- Top of the Lake (NEW MINISERIES)
Detective
Al Parker: Redeem me. Or if you’re not interested, go ahead – exterminate me.
Sundance
Channel entered the TV game this year with its first original drama series
(Rectify) and this 7-part miniseries about an investigation into a missing girl
in a small New Zealand town. Starring Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men), David Wenham
(Faramir from Lord of the Rings), Peter Mullan, Holly Hunter, and Thomas M.
Wright (see “The Bridge”, a few spots down), each character is memorable and gives
a strong performance, especially Peter Mullan as the missing girl’s
foul-mouthed, drug lord, adoptive father. There are a lot of haunting images,
not the least of which is the opening credits which sets the mood instantly.
There’s not much humor here, and it’s pretty bleak, but it’s a strong story
that plays out satisfyingly over a limited set of episodes – which are
available on Netflix streaming right now. There’s also a little sub-plot about a
group of middle-aged nomad women living in a commune made out of shipping
containers, led by the Holly Hunter character. It’s a little pretentious but
serves as the mouthpiece of the show and helps it inch closer to “zany”
territory without tottering over the edge.
Number
7- Boardwalk Empire
Arnold Rothstein: All of
man's troubles come from his inability to sit in a quiet room by himself.
Rank
Last Year: Honorable Mention
Season
4 felt more tightly-focused than the last. The highlight was the war between
Chalky White and newcomer Valentin Narcisse which allowed both men to flex
their acting chops in a variety of situations. All of the other characters had
standout moments as well, and there were exciting happenings in the early
episodes of the season – more than I can say for season 3, which wasn’t really
super impressive for me until the end. Oh, and there’s that very bittersweet
ending. Sad face.
Number
6- The Bridge (NEW SHOW)
The Killer: There are five
murders a year in El Paso. In Juarez, thousands. Why? Why is one dead white
woman more important than so many dead just across the bridge? How long can El
Paso look away? We've got some interesting times ahead. This is only the
beginning.
One
of several Scandinavian-drama-turned-American-thriller shows over the last few
years, this one came as kind of a surprise to me. The bodies of two women (the
head and torso of an American, the legs of a Mexican) are discovered on the
bridge between El Paso and Juarez, prompting both countries to be involved in
the investigation. Turns out the killer has some political statements to make
(see the above quote), although as time goes on we find out it’s more of a
personal vendetta which is not as interesting but it still works as a
jumping-off point for an examination of border politics, immigration, and the
radically different states of crime for two cities that are next-door
neighbors. The leads are Sonya and Marco – she’s a beautiful but socially
awkward investigator and he’s the grizzled but charismatic cop who has a
complicated family life. It’s an odd pairing but one that is wonderful to
watch. The sense of place is strong but I think its best feature is the
numerous colorful characters that occupy both sides of the border, including
Thomas M. Wright (from the aforementioned Top of the Lake) as a bizarre man who
takes an interest in young immigrant women – and has one of the most distinct
looks and voices I’ve ever seen/heard. The serial killer story wraps up before
the season’s end but we’re already set up for next year’s storylines that will
hopefully expand this interesting world that is probably more real than we
realize.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v9H-Rk0s4o
Number
5- Parks and Recreation
Ron Swanson: I've had the
same will since I was eight years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my
belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.
Rank Last Year: 7
Parks and Rec is Parks and Rec.
It does its thing. They’re still going strong in season 6, which is where The
Office started waffling for me – so I’m curious to see how much longer it can
go at this speed before I seriously start to question which comedy I ultimately
like better. The Office had a stronger 2nd season though, so that
helps it. Not that anybody cares.
Number
4- Shameless
Fiona Gallagher: I've dreamt
about your death; put money in a collection box and prayed for it; blew out my
birthday candles, wished for it; if it actually ever happened I'm not sure if I'd
feel relief or guilt.
Rank Last Year: 9
A show that is built on
absurd storylines and character actions was somehow able to reach new absurd
heights: Frank convinced his son, Carl, that Carl had cancer in order to take
advantage of the perks of a children’s foundation; Fiona was met with disdain
by her coworkers who are all perfectly content to let their boss continue his
sexual advances on them; a dead woman from a seniors home is passed off to be a
recently-deceased aunt; Frank pretends to be gay in order to receive benefits
from a domestic-partnership program and becomes the new voice of the gay rights
movement before he is approached for sexual conversion therapy and proceeds to
scam both groups; and Kev and Veronica try to have a baby but are forced to use
Veronica’s mom as the surrogate, which freaks Kev out, so he has to have
Veronica sit on his face while her mother rides his penis. This is all much
funnier than it sounds. And there is still a through-line of Frank’s failed
parenting and the kids being split up by social services that swings the
pendulum back in the direction of dramatic. It’s a crazy back and forth, but
Shameless does it so well, as usual.
Number
3- Mad Men
Roger Sterling: You know what
they say about Detroit; it's all fun and games until they shoot you in the
face.
Rank Last Year: 1
Initially I was a little
scared. The first few episodes were not my favorites, but then Dr. King got
assassinated and the two agencies merged into one, and we were back on track.
The gang took stimulant drugs to keep them working for three straight days,
giving us some of the best comedy the show has ever done. Peggy has
relationship issues and Roger feels useless. We’ve been through a lot of these
motions before but the civil unrest of 1968 gives it a whole new and dangerous
dimension. The merge brought a power struggle, not unlike the struggles for
power between the counterculture and the establishment. Don is getting older
and seeming more and more like a relic from the 50s; death imagery is all over
the season, literally from the opening seconds. And Sally is getting older too,
having found her dad philandering with the neighbor which causes a rift between
them, and ultimately leads to the final scene of the season where Don takes the
kids to visit the old prostitute house where he grew up. The final season will
be split up into two halves over two years, but in these 14 episodes we may see
Don Draper start to lose the façade and reveal the Dick Whitman underneath to
the world.
There’s also the fun subplot
about the unusually-chipper and ungodly suck-up Bob Benson, who prompted
numerous theories as to his true identity -
my favorite of which is that he was Pete and Peggy’s baby that slipped
through a time vortex in the future to work at SCDP. Because that’s the kind of
fan that watches this show, apparently.
Number 2- Breaking Bad
Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White…he’s the devil.
Rank Last Year: 8
Prior to 2013, Breaking Bad’s highest-rated episode (“Say My Name”) had 2.98 million viewers. When it returned in August it achieved 5.92 million, a doubling of the previous high. The finale drew 10.28, one of the highest-rated ever for a cable series outside of The Walking Dead. That is a testament to how much Breaking Bad penetrated pop culture this year.
And luckily the endgame lived up to expectations. After almost a year, Hank finally gets off that damn toilet with a pretty sizable revelation that could tear Walt’s empire down, and the tension never really lets up from there. Hank did not tread lightly and so we get a great collapse of Walt’s own house of cards. Tohajilee/Ozymandias/Granite State/Felina might be one of the great stretches of episodes ever. One nitpick is that the finale did not spend nearly enough time wrapping up some of the characters’ stories as I would have liked but…..I mean come on, there was a remote-controlled machine gun rigged to a car. That’s enough.
Ultimately though, Breaking Bad is the core of the so-called “golden age of TV drama” – the post-Sopranos world with a flawed anti-hero (or heroes) as the lead, who may not be a good guy/gal but they’re so interesting that you’ll get onboard with them for the ride. This show was basically the origin story of the anti-hero, as Walter White goes from a timid everyman into an infamous criminal in the span of, like, a year. For most other shows, this is where the story would begin. But even Lucifer was once an angel.
Number 1- Game of Thrones
Varys:
He would see this country burn if he could be king of the ashes.
Rank
Last Year: 3
SPOILERS
FOR SEASON 3
This
was the book (or the first part of it, anyway) that prompted producers Benioff
and Weiss to pursue an adaptation, and it’s not hard to see why. The Red
Wedding massacre is the most famous event of the series as of right now, and
they not only scared the bajeezus out of non-book-readers but also sent a knife
to the gut (no pun intended) to those who already knew it was coming, by going
off-script and killing Robb’s pregnant wife along with them. The Wedding may
have been the most talked-about episode of the show this year but the season
was not without other notable events: the mutiny at Craster’s Keep, Dany
acquiring her army and kicking slaver-city-ass, Jaime losing his hand, Theon
losing his dick, the Hound battling Beric and his flaming sword, the ascent up
the Wall, and young Podrick apparently being a sex god. Or something. And
between all these, there were tons of great little character moments like
Stannis and his daughter, Arya talking to the Brotherhood, and Tyrion’s antics
at his wedding.
As
fun as this year was, it was still a bit of a downer, but season 4 (which
chronicles the back half of “Storm of Swords” as well as some chapters from
“Feast for Crows” and “Dance with Dragons”) has tons of moments that will get
you to stand up and cheer rather than cower in the fetal position. I’ll say no
more.
This
has been a tremendous year in television (hence 13 instead of 10). 
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